..:: super_civious ::.. v. [ f a i nt ]

the day you said goodnight

Take me as you are, Push me off the road the sadness, I need this time to be with you I'm freezing in the sun; I'm burning in the rain The silence; I'm screaming, Calling out your name. And i do reside in your light Put out the fire with me and find Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles That's what i'll do if we say goodbye. To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need this time To me the life you gave me The day you said goodnight. The calmness in your face That i see through the night The warmth of your light is pressing unto us You didn't ask me why I never would have known oblivion is falling down. And i do reside in your hear Put out the fire with me and find Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles That's what i'll do if we say goodbye. To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need this time To me the life you gave me The day you said goodnight. If you could only know me like your prayers at night Then everything between you and me will be alright. To be is all i gotta be And all that i see And all that i need this time To me the life you gave me The day you said goodnight. She's already taken, She's already taken She's already taken me She's already taken, She's already taken She's already taken me. The day you said goodnight

super_civious

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Well I'm here again, alone and lonely.. my mahal is not here, she's on a rest day. haaay... anyway, this past few days i'm beginning to realize that everything in this cruel world is not permanent. Everything that has a beginning has it's end, so to speak.. Well maybe there's something wrong with me.. I dunno.. Each time I love, there's always a flaw.. I dunno.. you judge, I never learned. Because I always believe that you don't have to stop loking for love.. It can be found in the strangest places. I love to love. If you ever fall, just love. Don't ask. Right now, i'm just hanging there. Hanging 'til judgement day.. I'll try to be her friend 'til the end, even if she didn't picked me.. even if it'll hurt me more. Even if my fate will haunt me, my conscience forever. Maybe I was born just to love, born to love her.. that's all. This is the first time that I risked my heart completely.. entrusted it's whole fate to someone. Knowing the circumstances are a little bit perverted. I still believe that love is all there is... How I wish that my bebe is the one.. Hoping that someone out there is willing to accept me of who I am and is willing to share her life with me forever. Someone who'll walk with me side by side without thinking of some other things before us... no more confusion, no more hesitation, no more doubts and negativities. Someone that I can call "mine".

x super_civious was blasting his music on 9:19 AM x

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

for you bebe ko..

Iris
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive...

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am...

x super_civious was blasting his music on 9:23 AM x

how do i love you? i love you not because because you're smart.. it's the way you handle things.. you're so unpredictable.. I love you because you're so cool to be with. I can be myself. I can share almost everything to you.. all my "first times" became a possiblity because of you.. Never have I though that I'll fell in love with someone like you.. so sweet and so kind.. you're actually way out of my league the first time I saw you but then I realized that you're more than everything else.. There's something in you that made me say you're the one.. so unique.. the attitude that separates her amongst other women.. she can say what she wants.. i lover her because of that.. she's tough, she's cool, she's strong, she can be mean.. and she's my girl.. i love everything about you.. you've set the standards, physically. you have a face that could launch a thousand ships a picture that paints a thousand words.. you're beauty.. oooh you're beauty.. leaves me breathless and can take my heart away.. you're smile makes me shiver. my body, frozen. I know that the element of time is not on my side, but i'll love you.. even if take's forever to wait for you i will, if you want me to.. you're situation is confused, i'll still love you.. uncertain of what beholds, i'll always love you.. and i will forever love you. even if there's no reason of loving you.. even if we loose the sweetness.. even if we loose ourselves, you have built a special place in my heart that no one else can ever replace. I love you abby, my bebe.. will you marry me? take me, i'm yours.. till the end..

x super_civious was blasting his music on 8:08 AM x

Thursday, May 18, 2006

It don't matter to me
If you really feel that
You need sometime to be free
Time to go out searching for yourself
Hoping to find time to go, to find

And it don't matter to me
If you take up with someone
Who's better than me
because your happiness is all I want
For you to find peace your piece of mind.

A lot of people have an ego hang-up
because they want to be the only one
How many came before it really doesn't matter
Just as long as you're the last
Everybody's moving on and try to find out
What's been missing in the past

And it don't matter to me
If your searching brings you back together with me
because there'll always be
An empty room waiting for you
An open heart waiting for you
Time is on my side
because it don't matter to me
It don't matter to me....

x super_civious was blasting his music on 12:25 PM x

Thursday, May 11, 2006

human nature

It's a wednesday, still uncertain whether or not our plan that night will push through because bebe just realized that it was her nanay's bday. Well it did pushed through yes but i need to get a beating first because of the indirect answers from her for confirmation and I thought that she is planing to bring along mak (her bf's brother) and she actually thought that I was getting annoyed that time. (well receiving unclear answers will really sizzle your mind), she got irate too because of the way I reacted on my text/s wthout me knowing her side of the story. I realized it's hard for her to text me while mak is around. of course! any wrong move.. will be hell to her. Again, I didnt knew that at first because all the while I was thinking of something else, because of the uncertainty. Anyway, off with the date.. we went to starbucks and ordered our favorite drink/s and engaged on a short chit chat. After that we immediately went to Rolling stones to play billiards. "It was my day!" I said while we're still on the first half of our "race to ten" game. But come the home stretch, she won, fair and square. At first I felt shocked because this was the first time I got beaten... by a girl! and it just so happens that she's my Girlfriend! MAN! wow! For the first time in my entire billiards career that I received such beating from a girl.. well she's my bebe.. Underestimation finally came to an end. A non-believer such as I transformed into it's vice versa..

And now, the grand-finale. Are men dogs? is it our instinct to crave for flesh? When we're at Rolling stones, playing billiards.. This certain thought just popped out of my head.. Will this be it? Are we going to finally do it? knowing that it's just the two of us who went out without our friends at sight means something to me.. well.. you know what I mean by that naman right? So I'm just observing her, what her next move will be, having this fuzz on my mind. So it continued.. Busy playing billiards, so eager to be asked what we're going to do next... And then.. BAAAM! off we go.. still hoping for it.. going... going.. gone...! That created a bit of a confusion on my mind.. Am I not that good looking? doesn't she like me, physically? Don't I have the "Sex Appeal" so to speak.. Those are the questions streaming inside my head... And then comes the disappointment.. the frustration.. and, the dreaded term which is "insecurity" followed... So the happiness that is present around me that time suddenly changed into something else.. it changed my mood into something serious.. something not good. I called her up, hoping to get answers, and yep! I got them alright.. Now I know where I stand. She was able to explain to me as to why..contented with the answers, yep! and I embraced it with a sincere heart.. I do respect her after all.. I love her that much..! I got touched and I felt so stupid as to why I am acting that way.. so fucking weird! so fucking not me! We ended up our conversation with a clear and relieved heart.. Sorry bebe.. It won't happen again.. This I promise you... Time and time again.. I love you bebe.. Will you marry me? take me.. I'm all yours...

x super_civious was blasting his music on 1:45 PM x

Sunday, May 07, 2006

The One You Love by Glenn Frey

I know you need a friend,
someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you cryin'?
Isn't he the one who made you blue?
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind
Are you gonna stay with the one
who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know
they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above
What you gonna say when he comes over?
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the
disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you gotta make up your mind
Are you gonna stay with the one
who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

x super_civious was blasting his music on 7:55 AM x

Saturday, May 06, 2006

it's another sad day for me again..

why are we afraid to face the truth? the reality? why, for so long, we are haunted by mistakes, still we are committing the same mistakes.. so many questions unanswered, so many answers that's so hard to accept. Facts, truths and even lies... Why is it hard to love someone, without even loving in return (unconditional love ekek). Why does it hurt to love someone, knowing that you're just her number 2, mean time lover. What makes me say that? hmm because it's the truth! What if your special someone sez "I love you, but not as much as I love him..." ouch! carelessly cutting you 'till you bleed...

Originally, when we started our relationship, we have this setup - "kami sa floor.. may bf sha na nasa abroad, nothing else" but then suddenly it changed. The set up has been modified. Maybe because of the time, effort, the love and the sacrifices that both of us are sharing in our daily lives that we finally realize that it's more than this.. In fairness to bebe, she's true. I can feel the love from her.. and likewise.. I love her so... damn... much! I love everything about her... I love her every single day of my life..

Moving back to the dreaded reality, It's so hard to have a relationship like this.. the confusion, the sorrow, the love, endless battle on the inner-self, uncertainty, pain, the sacrifice.. tempers, endless questions and questionable answers... all these are inside my beautiful head... Shit! i dunno.. is this being selfish? is this the result of my being hopeless-romantic.. me who hungers for love and romance.. am i desperate of love? again my friend, so many questions that longs for true answers.

I know.. that day will come.. when all is settled and clear. One of us will get hurt. One will be thankful to the stars above...! hehe there's actually a song for this.. the one you love by glenn frey.. la lang.. senti shit song that reminds me of my condition right now.. haaay..

one things for sure.. i'll never love this way again if ever things didn't worked out the way i wanted to... I LOVE You bebe so much.. will you marry me? take me, i'm all yours...

x super_civious was blasting his music on 7:33 AM x

Monday, May 01, 2006

Oh No - The Commodores

I want you to want me

I'm goin' crazy knowin' he will be your lover tonight

And when he comes I'll let you go

I'll just pretend as you walk out the door

Oh, noI can't sleep

Oh, noI'm goin' crazy with love over you

I need you to need me

I wanna hold you but you're holdin' someone else in your arms

When I close my eyes I see your faceI'm just not sure how much my heart can erase

Oh, noI can't think, oohOh, no

I'm goin' crazy with love over you

Oh, honeyOh, sugarOh, no

I can't sleep anymore, baby

Oh, noI can't think anymore, baby

Oh, noI'm goin' crazy with love over you

x super_civious was blasting his music on 5:58 AM x